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Respect the Bride & Groom on Their Wedding Day

November 16, 2010

I recently performed as a DJ in Arizona for a very nice couple who had a celebrity guest at their wedding.  He was a childhood friend who achieved fame and fortune in the music and television entertainment industries, and was attending their wedding as a guest and groomsman in their bridal party.
Keep in mind that he was not there with an agenda other than being a friend.  He was not promoting a new book or movie or reality tv show, and had no particular desire to be recognized.  I had been prepared to play any number of his hit songs, either from the original group he performed with or any of his subsequent hits as a solo artist.  However, after planning the evening with the bride and groom, they made it clear that I was not to do so even if requested, and I was happy to honor their wishes.  They simply wanted their friend to be there and be comfortable, and not singled out with the white hot spotlight.  I happen to agree, as I think the focus of any wedding celebration is the bride and groom.

 
Then the trouble began.  During the course of the evening, one of their other guests noticed the man in question and made the connection.  She then approached me with her bright idea.  “Here’s what I want you to do,” she said.  “You need to announce to everyone that there is a celebrity here, and then point him out and play one of his songs dedicated to the bride and groom.”  I explained to her that I was very aware of the circumstance, and attempted to let her know why that would not be appropriate.  “Oh, no way,” she drunkenly and stubbornly insisted.  “If you don’t do what I say then I will go to my friend the groom and have him make you.”  Before I could do anything about it, she proceeded to accost the newly married couple with her demand and continued to harass them until it became obvious to them that she would not relent without causing a scene.  She was convinced that she knew their desires better than they did.  The groom reluctantly asked me to go ahead and placate his drunken friend and actually apologized to me for the confusion and embarassment that she had caused.  He felt that it was the only way she would let them enjoy the rest of the evening in relative peace, so in essence she ended up forcing her way on the couple and temporarily controlling the agenda.  Their celebrity friend smiled and begrudgingly went along, but clearly felt as I did: that this was the Bride and Groom’s special day and not his.

 
My plea is simple.  The next wedding you are invited to attend, please remember that the married couple is the focus and honor of the event.  Although you may be a veritable font of great concepts for the success of their event, chances are unless you were involved in the planning phase that your input may not be needed.  Did this woman truly believe that she was the only one who saw the celebrity in their midst, and that she was inspired with a brilliant idea no one else had considered?  Did she really have the audacity to think that the couple didn’t know of their friend’s success, despite the fact that they grew up together and that he was a member of their bridal party?  Perhaps the casual partygoing friend was unaware or oblivious, however the fact remains that she was out of line by insisting on having her way.

 
A Bride and Groom should be supported on their wedding day and have their particular vision of happiness supported, especially on the first day of their new life together.  Please allow them the respect that they deserve.

 

Cameron Carpenter

Arizona Wedding DJ – Three Oceans Entertainment

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One Comment
  1. A wedding is about the couple getting married ! Never understood while family usually acts ugly at the wedding. We have seen couples practically in tears because of the pressure tactics used by family and guests. I’ve often thought alchol had something to do with it ? but have witnessed totally sober people act this way.
    My daughter is getting married in a year and its her wedding. Even though her mother does weddings I know that I cannot take over. The wedding dream is usually something the bride has had since childhood.

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